I always wondered how people in the medical profession decide to specialize in Proctology. After today, I don't care how and why they are in this profession, I'm just grateful.
I have never had hemorrhoids before, but I recall that in the midst of my infertile bitterness, I wished a bad case of them to happen on the insensitive fertiles. Turns out that karma is a bitch. Last night I went to the ER for the most intense pain of my life and saw, felt, first hand what its like to have your insides on your outsides in one of the most worst places ever. At 10PM, the hubby called my OB who told us not to go to emergency room, take tylenol and ice the area, and he would arrange a visit to the proctologist first thing in the morning. From 10PM to 4AM, I cried like a baby with the most intense pain every. Finally at 4AM, hubby couldn't take it anymore, and took me to ER. The ER doctor and nurse inspected the problem, and told me they would not operate on a pregnant person, but that my case looked BAD. I literally felt like someone had a fist in my anus, and that I had been sodomized prison style for 15 hours straight. They gave me morphine, which I feel makes me the worst mom ever and my son hasn't even been born yet.
At 11 AM, it was arranged for me to go to the Ass doctor. I don't know what I expected as I can't imagine what normal person to choose this field of medicine. Wouldn't ya know it that Ass Man was totally hot in a Brad Pitt sort of way, and probably late 30's. Luckily by this point, I just did not care. I had outpatient surgery, took the pain meds, and will have lots of sitz baths in my future. I will also have the pleasure of sitting on a donut shaped pillow at my baby shower on Saturday in front of twenty people while I open gifts. If I wasn't in so much pain, I would find this hilarious. Even in my current state, it is somewhat funny. The hubby has taken care of me like the saint that he is. However, he cannot help himself and has a list of ass jokes that can go on for days. He made me laugh in spite of my pathetic state.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
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2 comments:
OMG girl! The fun never ends! I had them too when I was preg but not that bad! I feel for ya! Hope your arse heals quickly! At least youre having a c/s or else the pushing phase could pose a problem in the bum dept! Fell better soon! :)
Oh gosh honey - I'm so sorry!
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